Something else that’s become apparent through all this is you find out who your friends are! I’m not thronged with friends anyway. When because of financial and circumstantial constraints you can’t do certain things people quickly become tired of being told you can’t do things and stop getting in touch. Of the handful of friends I have it’s very interesting that the only person to offer support (apart from my virtual friends online), has been someone who is himself on JSA and is really in no position to help. And yet he told us if we needed to borrow any money to let him know. He would borrow from his family to help us out – he’s been in and out of work for about 15 years so has nothing to lend us himself. It really touched us that he offered. At the other end of the spectrum I have a friend whose husband is on a very good wage, she herself is on incapacity benefit as she has a wasting disease. She has offered nothing in the way of support not even a phone call to see if we are ok. I would have to be desperate to take any offer of the loan of cash, but it’s interesting to me that the one that could afford to lend us something hasn’t offered, whilst the one who can least afford it has. Even a quick text or phone call would have been appreciated but nothing. In fact when I told her what was happening all she could focus on was herself and what she could do if the same happened to her. The same won’t happen to her. Her husband could easily afford to support his family without her incapacity benefit, so if her money is stopped it won’t be a question of not being able to pay the rent or the food bills. They can cope if they need to without her money, they shouldn’t have to but they can. We need ours to survive. If the roles were reversed, I would certainly have offered help, even if only emotionally. It certainly makes you realize who your friends are…………..
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